Daily Joke

29 messages, 1 pages:  1 ↖ Retour à la liste des sujets

Score: +11

1. GodSaveTheQueen,

Hey guys. I have decided to start posting a joke a day, or every other day, as a way to make others laugh. Today's is a classic dad joke. What is the leading cause of dry skin? Answer: towels.

Score: +0

2. imprisonedindarkness,

Question: What is the most annoying thing when you're in a group of mathematicians?

Answer: When they talk about finding your X, then followed it up by finding Y.

Score: +1

3. GodSaveTheQueen,

Why can't ants get covid? because they have antibodies.

Score: +0

4. imprisonedindarkness,

In a psychiatric hospital, one of the patients was fishing in a bucket. The psychiatrist passed by and asked that patient in curiosity.
Doctor: Patient, what are you doing?
Patient: I'm fishing, doc.
Doctor: That's great! Have you caught a lot of fish?
Patient, looking at the doctor like he got something in the head: How could it be, doc? Do you think I'm crazy? How could I catch fish when I'm fishing in a bucket?

Score: +0

5. chan,

Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems.

Score: +2

6. sky360,

what do you call a caveman's fart? a blast from the past.

Score: +1

7. GodSaveTheQueen,

How is life like toilet paper? you are either on a roll, or taking crap from someone.

Score: +0

8. girmit,

Well guys, this is a joke in one Kannada movie.
A grandson asks to his grandmother I want to marry you,
Immediately, his father asks to son, Hey what you said? why do you want to marry my mother?
The son replies, By the way, you married my mother know? why can't i marry your mother?

Score: +0

9. imprisonedindarkness,

One day, in the clinic, a doctor performed a check up on his patient.
Doctor: Try to cough!
Patient: Cough! Cough! Cough cough!
Doctor: Again!
Patient: Cough! Cough! Cough cough!
Doctor: Okay, that's enough.
Patient: What ails me, doc?
Doctor: You have a cough.

Score: -1

10. Negar,

hey some news that are more like jokes.
In an embarrassing moment for South Sudan, the 71-year-old President of the North African country, Salva Kiir Mayardit, was caught peeing his pants on live camera. The incident dates back to December 13 last year when he had gone to commission a newly constructed road

Score: -1

Dernière édition par Negar, 16.02.2023 11:24

11. FlatWhite,

These jokes stink worse than 💩.

Score: +1

12. Shell,

I wouldn't know, never took such a close wiff of them but it appears you may have :)

Score: -3

13. Quintin-Dziadkiewicz,

It's been 5 days and I'm still waiting for the jokes...

Score: +1

14. GodSaveTheQueen,

fine, here come the r rated jokes. what do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off

Score: +1

15. girmit,

This is a joke as well as reality of how to be happy always:
Whatever work you do, like that work and do. there won't be sadness. example, going and doing a toilet happily!

Score: -2

16. imprisonedindarkness,

Imagine that there's a zombie nearby looking for brains.
But then it passes you by...
You: 😲

Score: -1

17. Shell,

Cynthia says: I'm nocentCynthia says: inocent aims says: same the-chaos says: I'm the most innocent of all

Score: -4

Dernière édition par Shell, 24.02.2023 17:42

18. mohitarya,

Graham Martin is in Hospital:
Who the hell is GRAHAM?
Well Graham is the geezer who got home late one night and Helen his wife, says. "Where the hell have you been?"
Graham replies. "I was getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo?" She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar note on my privates." He said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar note tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want."
Graham is now in The Critical Care Unit, Room 233. No visitors until further notice............…

Score: -3

19. sky360,

A and B are having a conversation:
A: " there are 502 bricks being flown on a plane, one slipt out and fell. how many are remaining?"
B: "501".
A: "good, now how do you put an elephant into a fridge?"
B: "its not possible!",
A: "no, just open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the fridge".
B: "o. okay",
A: "how do you put a lepord into a fridge?"
B: "open the fridge, put the lepord in and close the fridge".
A: "no! open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the lepord in, then close the fridge."
A: "the king of the forest has called a meeting of all animals. all animals came except 1. who?"
B: "the monkey. because he is very naughty."
A: "no. its the lepord. because he is in the fridge."
A: "a man wants to cross a river which is infested by crocodiles. but he can cross safely by swimming. how?"
B: "the crocodiles are in the meeting called by the lion king."
A: "wow! not bad. but the man ended up dying anyways. why?"
B: "he doesn't know to swim and drouned."
A: "no. he was hit on the head by the brick that fell from the plane."
roflflflflflflflflflflflflflflfl

Score: +2

20. girmit,

Good joke that cycles from last to first story.

Score: +0

21. Shell,

Recursion!

Score: +0

22. StormProductions,

Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

Score: +0

23. girmit,

girl: you born, you born for me, boy: you are also one of my mother

Score: +0

24. Moriarty,

No need to think up jokes.
https://qcsalon.net/en/forum8/topic107858
Posts 15, 29, 30 and 31.

Score: +0

25. sky360,

what do you call a rose that want's to go to the moon?
gulab ja moon

Score: +1

26. GodSaveTheQueen,

My grandfather swore by adding a spoonful of gun powder to his tea every morning, he said it was an old remedy to live longer. Well it worked, he lived to the ripe old age of 97. He left behind a widow, 2 children, 14 grandchildren and a fifty foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

Score: +0

27. Nikola,

While I have no totally silly jokes to contribute here, someone brought up a forum topic, so I can paste here easily the best topic of the English forum:
https://qcsalon.net/en/forum8/topic13377

Score: +0

28. Sajad-Aliraqi,

Hi!
First, I wouldn't say your topic is trivial, but it is not a necessity. Some jokes are not suitable for minors which is aprox 40% of playroom community if I am not mistaken

Score: -1

29. sky360,

wow! really funny topic nokola. but me sad :( I thought my jokes were just bad. but today I discovered they were silly. asdfghjkl;

Score: +0

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