exactly teary? so don't ask for pay with all the help you have done with the spspspspspades tournament?

Grhrhrhrhoit joke?

lol nice one

I thought you should remove around 1 third of 104 days, because in 1 third of a year there won't neceserally be all the weekends counted. bad manager.
And 1 more from me, because I can't post something that isn't funny on this forum:
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."He returns her gaze, "Anything?""Anything."His voice softens, "Anything?""Anything," she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?"
Just one more:
Chukchuk is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Prize money of Rs.1 Million US$
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Chukchuk says, "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) ECUADOR
Chukchuk asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Chukchuk asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, Has its name x-udd on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT!
Chukchuk gives up.
SCROLL DOWN.......
If you think you are indeed clever and laughed at Chukchuk 's replies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100-year war lasted 116 years from1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 He changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARI This means islands of the puppies. Now tell me who's the dumb one...Don' Ever Laugh at a Chukchuk again.
(ChukChuk community lives some where in Siberia)

Well,
A young man enters in a club where other people were having fun. He shouts loudly with a sense of braveness, like he wanted to show off that he was a macho man, saying, "Who's the strongest man in here!"
A young, tall guy comes out saying, "I am the strongest of all in this club."
The man answers, please come with me out to push my car! It's given out!

why isn't it easy to rob a bank! Because there are too many Coppers. (coppers are 1 and 2 pence pieces)

A butcher was selling different types of meat in the fair.
And not far of his table, his George neighbor was selling different types of cheese.
At the end of working hours, the butcher has come to his George neighbor and after exchanging greeting, he said: " - Dear George I was thinking of something whole day long and would like to propose you a deal.
You need meat and I need cheese, right?"
George was confused, but replied: "Right."
then the butcher continued, saying: "I thought that's useless to make the exchange of them in the fair as long as we are neighbors. Right?"
george became much more confused, cause of sudden observation, but replied again: "Right."
Then the butcher proposed his deal saying: " - Ok and here's my offert.
In every sunday I will go to your home for making the exchange of our goods."
George continued to look confused, but was nicely surprised by the kindness of his neighbor. And after a while said: " - Deal done."
then in every sunday the butcher has come to george's home for making that exchange. Often they even have drunk some glasses of wine for their good deal.
But after some weeks, when the butcher has come for making the new exchange, George has understood from the sad smile of his neighbor, that something it happend with him and asked: " - Is everything alright dear neighbor? Did it happen something with you?"
The butcher replied: " - Everything is alright except one thing."
then told to George that everytime when he has gone back to his home, he checked the weight of the cheese and always this less than George said.
When George has heard what his neighbor stated, got shocked and said: " - Dear neighbor when you bring the meat, I always put it on a side of the weight scale and the cheese on the other side. So, I have given you the same quantity of cheese as it was the quantity of meat."
Then the butcher got ashamed because his cheating was discovered and has gone, having a sad face.
So, with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you.

we 3 brothers!

There once was these 3 brothers who didn't know english and they used to work on their farm. One day they decided to take a trip to the town and went to get permition from their father. but father said first you all have to learn 3 english sentences! then I will let you go to town.

SO these 3 brothers got bit upset and started to wander around the village suddenly they saw group of tourist having good time with the nature.. They went and observed the tourists in hope of learning that 3 sentences. at the end of the day the brothers did learn 3 sentences and ran to their father.

father: what is it?
all brother screemed we learnt the 3 sentences father!
Father: well tell me.
1st brother: "we 3 brothers!"
2nd brother: "with sharp knife"
3rd brother: "lets go darling.:"

So father got imprest at last and decided to let them go to town, next day all 3 brothers did go to the town. While they was wondering around the town they saw some one got murdered. so police came to the seen, and started to question all the public present.
SInce the 3 brothers didn't knew english well so they were not sure what this policeman was questioning.
So the policeman came to these 3 brothers.

Policeman: who killed that man.
1st brother: we 3 brothers!
Police man got shocked so he moved to another brother and asked "how did you 3 killed him?"
so the 2nd brother answered: "with sharp knife!" Now policeman got angry and started to get furious and told them what can happened to them and all. Still the brothers were not sure what was being asked to them so finally policeman said "Now i will take you all to the police station for further questions. suddenly the 3rd brother screamed " lets go darling!"

roflroflrofl

Hahahahaha the only one I could get without seeing it closer! There's something similar in spanish :D.

Preist is walking down the street yeah?and he bumps into this homeless guy yeah? and the homeless guy goes: "Hey i'm Jesus." Preist argues with him for a while but the homeless dude still insists he's jesus. Preist finally relents and says, "OK then if u are jesus, prove it." Homeless man says fine, follow me. They walk into a pub. The barman immediately turns around, "Oh Jesus Christ! Not u again!"

Lol lol lol lol roflflflflflflflflflflflflfl.

this one is a little sarcastic:
An owner of a cafeteria had recently employed a man to work as a guard in his club. His shift started at 10:00 PM, and that nearly was the time when the club was closed. So the guard goes to his work and the owner asks him, "Would you like a coffee?" the man says, "No, thank you, the coffee holds me back from sleeping."

4 jokes have come to me thanks to Policeman's Spades reference in our Spades tournament.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? (Doug)
What do you call a man without a spade in his head (Douglas)
What do you call a mann with a rock on his head? (Cliff)
What do you call a woman with a shell on her back? (Michele)

I still find English so complicated. For example, can you understand this?

We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
She could not live with a live mouse in the house.
It was just a minute prick and over in a minute.
His mistake was putting his left foot forward while putting.
We would probably read more Shakespeare if we understood what we read.
There was a bow tied in the ropes on the bow of the ship.
You should spring that on us next spring!

Oh and ... Did you know that "verb" is a noun?